Oh...The Fun that is a Change in Routine

The fallout from a change in routine can be felt several days after the change actually happened.  We are dealing with that exact thing right now and I. AM. EXHAUSTED!  Franklin usually does ok while the change is happening, it's afterwards that we pay for it, sometimes for hours, sometimes for days, and in some cases even longer.  We are still feeling the pain from moving, it's finally starting to get a little easier, but my goodness has it taken a long time for his anxiety to start to subside!  So today I am kind of in rant mode, wishing Franklin could handle the changes a little better, wishing I had not dared change his routine, wishing he would just leave me alone for 5 minutes so I can breathe!  Right now you're probably asking yourself what is happening?  Well, let me go back to last Monday.  David works on rotating shifts and last Monday his schedule changed from working to the day to working a weird 1 pm to 11 pm shift.  Anytime David's schedule shifts to a shift where he has to work during dinner and/or bedtime, it sets Franklin off.  So for the past week, Franklin has been stimming like crazy, and he's started chewing on EVERYTHING!  It's driving me nuts!  He even went so far as to try to chew on a plant at Dr. M's office!  Then Thursday came another change in routine.  A few weeks ago I decided I wanted to have a ThirtyOne party.  I LOVE ThirtyOne bags and thought it would be fun to have a party, plus I NEEDED some adult time with friends.  I set it up with the consultant and invited my friends over.  I made sure our nanny was available to hang out with Franklin because I knew just having MY friends over would overstimulate him and shake things up.  I wasn't going to let other kids come over, but I allowed it because I felt like it would be a good social opportunity for Franklin and the nanny would be here to keep an eye on things.  The kids got a little wild, but all in all I think it went ok.  But...it was a change for Franklin, something that typically overstimulates him and shakes him up, so while he did ok DURING the event, his brain was very tired afterwards.  He spent a good three hours in a state of sensory overload.  The next day was Friday, David's day off, and the day we had decided to go car shopping.  Franklin and Baby N were with the nanny ALL DAY LONG from 9 am to about 6 pm.  Add to that the excitement of bringing home a new car and It made for a week of interruptions to Franklin's routine and major brain fatigue.  So yesterday and today David and I have been dealing with the fallout of all these changes.  Franklin has been driving us absolutely INSANE!  I know it's not entirely his fault, but honestly, it's tiring.  He's been clingy, pestering, bouncy, and demanding.  He's been defiant, and argumentative.  It is emotionally exhausting.  He is constantly in our space, and being rough with his little brother.  He is asking the same questions over and over and over again.  I can tell his anxiety is taking over since he had some unknowns this past week.  Seriously though, I just wanted to go to the bathroom, take a shower, sit down and eat without, "MOMMY! MOMMY! MOMMY! MOMMY!" and pulling on me, and pushing me, meltdowns, and defiance.   I swear it took me three hours this morning to simply do the dishes and wipe down the kitchen counters because Franklin was constantly on me, literally, pulling on me, scratching me, hitting me, screaming.  I tried to make a phone call and the second I got on the phone Franklin started screaming, "GET OFF THE PHONE!" and pulling on me and trying to trip me.  He won't leave Baby N alone, constantly taking his toys, trying to move him where HE wants, poking him, trying to make him do things he wants and not what Baby N wants, which of course is making Baby N cry.  And of course Franklin only operates in one volume - LOUD- or maybe two volumes LOUD and amplified to 11.  Amplified to 11 would be LOUDER and only when Baby N is trying to take a nap.  I tried making Franklin rest while Baby N was taking a nap and instead he chose to jump from his top bunk to the floor thus in turn waking Baby N who is now cranky.    How he managed not to severely injure himself is beyond me...that little daredevil!

I considered taking Franklin swimming this afternoon but unfortunately, I am too exhausted and fear that he will not listen to me, so it's not worth the stress.   So this has been my weekend.   I keep having to take deep breaths and tell myself that Franklin cannot help it.  His brain is tired and he is acting out because his brain is tired.  Those changes are a lot to process for him and he doesn't have the same function of his frontal lobe that the rest of us have.  I have to keep telling myself this because even though I know this in my executive state (as Dr. M calls it) it still greatly frustrates me. It tires me.  It's hard to constantly deal with the behavior issues that arise from changes in routine.  This is why we typically cannot do things that are outside of the routine.  It's really hard to live like that, there are times when I would LOVE to be able to be spontaneous.  It seems that no matter how much we prepare Franklin for a change in routine, we still have to deal with the fallout.  I guess we have to learn to help him realize that life is full of changes and we just have to do the best we can.  And honestly, I am doing the best I can.  Baby N doesn't sleep well at night still, and I am still dealing with sleep deprivation and living on coffee, so that coupled with the Autism behaviors is really trying.  I am doing the best I can.  I am doing the best I can...and that's all I can do for now.