Summer Survival Mode

I attempted to write this post yesterday, but I was in an absolutely FOUL mood.  And I mean it was bad!  I haven't been in that kind of a funk in a long time.  Life's just getting a little overwhelming lately and my one year old isn't sleeping.  I think lately I've only been getting about 3 hours of sleep a night at the most.  Life is a whole lot harder when you aren't able to get enough sleep.  I am trying everything I know to help my little guy sleep but he just screams and screams when I put him in his bed.  And he wakes up every hour to two hours at night and screams more.  That wakes Franklin who can't stand the noise and then he starts screaming for the baby to stop screaming and then we have a scream fest in our house!  Fun times, fun times.   In addition to the lack of sleep, we've been dealing with some homeowner issues.  In October we bought a new house located on a golf and country club.  For the most part, we have been VERY happy with our "golf course" living and have found the golfers to be very pleasant and the view to be amazing. 

View from my deck

 However, whenever the country club hosts a tournament, we have issues.  This past Monday the country club held a tournament for the wine and grape growers (we live in wine country) and IT. WAS. CRAZY!   We had people driving their golf carts into our yard, breaking sprinkler heads.  We have a very large sycamore tree on our side of the property line where people chose to congregate to be in the shade.  They threw trash in our yard, they were smoking in our yard, they threw beer cans in our yard.  In addition, a few of them decided to help themselves to our deck and patio furniture.  All of this was highly distressing to Franklin who became more and more anxious with each intrusion into our yard.  One guy swore at me and told me to deal with it when I told him to get off my property.  We called the country club and they promptly blamed us for the issue, saying we needed to be more accommodating.  I am SORRY but I am not about to cede my property to disrespectful golfers!  There is a clear property line and they were on my deck for goodness sake!  So I got the HOA involved, who said we could build a fence.  And build a fence is EXACTLY what we plan to do.  If it makes the country club angry, oh well.  We have a child with Autism, so I am pulling the Autism card.  And that is that.  Now...onto what I really wanted to say...

View from my deck

Deck furniture 

So...the other day I was talking with a lady from church about how our summer was going.   She was saying how she's got her kids in all these classes and how they are working really hard at home from workbooks to make sure that her kids are on track to start school in the fall.  Then she asked me what we were doing this summer and I had to take a pause.  I mean, really, we're doing nothing.  Not a thing.  I told her we go to the pool a couple of days a week, we have gone bowling once, we've gone to Seattle twice...but other than that, nothing.  She looked shocked, and said to me, "aren't you a teacher?"  This question threw me.  Well yes, technically I am a teacher...I am certified, I taught full time before my kids were born, part time for a year before we left Iowa, I teach a few French lessons here and there...but I'm not actively working as a teacher...so I asked for clarification on why she was asking me that question.  She then asked me how, as a teacher, I wasn't "working on stuff" (her words) with Franklin because, "don't Autistic kids especially tend to regress over school breaks?"  Ok so this may be true, but honestly, I am in survival mode.  BIG TIME!  I mean, each day starts out with asking myself how exactly I am going to get through the day.  Each day ends with, "thank GOD this day is over!"  Each night is spent waking every hour to two hours with my one year old and trying to get him back to sleep without waking Franklin and having to get BOTH of them back to sleep.  I am in survival mode!  Should I be doing more?  Probably.  But I honestly do not have the energy to do anything more than what I am doing.  We get up, we eat breakfast, the babysitter comes over and I get my errands done, then it is lunch, nap time (yes, even though Franklin will be 6 in two weeks, I still make him have a "rest" because I am utterly exhausted and need some quiet time to take a nap myself).  After nap, if we have time and I am feeling up to it, we go to the pool for an hour or so.   Then we come home, I make dinner, clean up the kitchen, then it is bath time and bedtime.  And I literally spend HOURS trying to get my boys to go to bed, especially the one year old.  Throughout the day, I am constantly having to deal with Franklin's meltdowns, pestering his brother, anxiety riddled questions, hyperactivity, and defiance.  I. Am. Exhausted.  So what am I doing to make sure he's ready for first grade?  NOTHING!  And I am ok with that, because right now it's just about getting through the day.  Do I like feeling that way?  Nope.  Do I wish I could do more?  Yes of course!  But I have two small children, and I am getting almost no sleep, so I have to do what I have to do to get through.  In the fall Franklin will start first grade so he will go to school all day, so I will just have the baby for most of the day.  I feel like if I can get some sleep, and some quality time to myself, I can probably get myself out of this survival mode.  But as it stands right now, I can't wait for school to start.  I love my boys, but honestly, I need a break!  The end.