Stimming

Lately I've been getting a lot of questions about "stimming" or what it means when I talk about Franklin's "stim" words.  The term "stimming" is short for "self stimulating behavior" and it is very common in people with Autism.  Stimming usually refers to a set of specific behaviors such as flapping, rocking, spinning, or repeating specific words, phrases, or sounds.  These behaviors have a calming effect on the person and are usually done in a situation of excitement, anxiety, or overstimulation.    Until a few months ago, I didn't know what stimming was either.  Over the last year Franklin's Autism has become more severe and he began to develop a number of different "stims."  It started out with him flapping his hands, then he started to twitch his eye, then he would open and close his mouth, then it progressed to making strange sounds.  When it first started it really worried me, I got upset and rushed him to the doctor.  We scheduled neurological tests for him because I thought it was a "tic" and I wanted it to stop.  As time went on, Franklin started stimming more and more.  We started seeing Dr. M and she explained to David and I about stimming.
Most of Franklin's stimming is in the form of sounds that sooth him.  He has a little song he will hum, or he will say things like, "chung, booljong, and shelwee."  He also finds the "ch" sound soothing so a lot of times he will change words so that they contain the "ch" sound.  Many times stimming behaviors are not considered socially acceptable because they are oftentimes strange or different from what a neurotypical person would do.
There are two schools of thought when it comes to stimming.  The first is that people with Autism need to learn other behaviors that are more socially acceptable to replace the "stims" or be given medication to make them go away.  The second is that the stims need to be ignored because the stimming is soothing to the person and instead of trying to change the behavior, more awareness needs to happen.
I am in the second camp.  I really feel like my son is who he is.  That God made him the way that he is for a reason.  I am slowly coming to acceptance that he is going to be different and that if the stimming helps him, then why not let him do it!  It's not hurting anyone, and in fact, forcing him to stop WOULD hurt him!  I am of the mind that if it helps us avoid a meltdown, it's a good thing.   It really makes me crazy when people tell Franklin to "stop that" or ask "why is he doing that?"  I've even overheard comments from other kids' parents like, "that's so weird."  It hurts, and of course I want my son to be loved and accepted by everyone, that's what every parent wants.  But I want him loved and accepted AS HE IS.  I don't understand why he should need to change who he is, and what he does, in order for people to accept him.  I do have concerns for when he gets into those years where kids make fun of each other.  Kids can be cruel, and I feel that for now, he is sheltered from it.  I am not sure what we will do when that time comes, but I feel like stifling who he is and what he does to calm himself is not the answer.