Aah....The end of summer. The moment every Autism parent waits for....the first day of school...It's almost here. One more week. I can feel it. As a teacher I used to dread the end of summer. As an Autism mom, I am going to celebrate it with champagne mimosas as soon as Franklin gets on the bus! And this year is even better because Franklin's going to be in first grade, which means he will be at school ALL. DAY. LONG. It's not that I don't love my child, and it's not that I don't love spending time with him, it's just that I am so tired. I am so worn out. I'm starting to come out of survival mode for sure, but having two children who are so diverse in age, and one who STILL doesn't sleep at night, and the other who has endless amounts of energy is stressful. I mean, that Energizer Bunny's got NOTHING on Franklin! On the other hand, we've made MASSIVE progress with Franklin this summer. He's really doing well socially, and we are finding our way for sure. I definitely feel like we were in crisis mode at the beginning of the summer, and now we've managed to work through it, and we're much happier as a family. I feel like we're making connections and that's a HUGE deal for us. I feel like we're enjoying each other, and much happier. I feel like my survival mode is slowly going away, and that I can finally find little moments of calm, little moments to breathe. It's not perfect, far from it, but it's progress and progress feels good.
So what has happened to initiate this change? Well...we've been working hard with Franklin, providing him opportunities to play with other kids. He's got little buddies that are also on the Autism spectrum and they are all learning together. We just had Franklin's birthday party and that went off without a hitch! It was REALLY fun and I really enjoyed spending time with my family and all our friends' families. Franklin's really come a long way with learning how to play cooperatively, and learning social skills.
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| Franklin's Dog - "Pom Pom" |
In addition to pushing the social interactions within our own community, I've also started doing things for myself. Things that I enjoy. I've picked up my knitting needles again. Despite being massively sleep deprived, I needed to start knitting again. It's something I really enjoy and it relaxes me. Knitting helps me release stress and since I've started knitting again, I feel like I've been able to manage things a little better. Franklin LOVES dogs and he had been begging me to knit him a dog, so I did. And it felt good to pick up my knitting needles again. Then I decided to try my hand at
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The chick pattern I wrote myself-
pretty good for a first try! |
writing my own pattern, so I designed a pattern with the logo from our Autism support group- a round chick. That felt good too. The more I knit, the better I feel. Sometimes though, I feel like that's all I want to do, and wish I could just have more time to do it. School is starting soon, so I am hoping that I will get more time to knit. What's interesting though, is that earlier this summer I was diagnosed with Adult ADHD. In some ways, that was a shock to me because I was so successful in school growing up. I made it through high school, college, grad school, and National Board teacher certification with no problems. However, I've always struggled with organization and it's always been really hard for me to keep my living and work spaces clean and organized. I've also struggled my entire adult life with anxiety and had severe Postpartum Mood Disorder after the births of both of my children. My psychiatrist suggested that once I am done nursing Baby N that I start taking Ritalin. I laughed. I laughed because I heard that Ritalin has the opposite effect in adults that it has in children. I had flashbacks to that episode of Desperate Housewives when Lynette took her son's Ritalin to help her stay up all night working on projects for the school PTO. And then I thought about it, I am so sleep deprived, and I am to the point where messes in my home cause chaos in my head. Yet, it's really hard for me to keep up with the kids, and the housework, and the therapies, and all the stuff I need to get done. I feel like I never get time for myself, to do what I want to do. I think that is why I enjoy knitting so much. It's a chance for me to focus my attention on something that makes me happy and that lets me be creative. It doesn't demand anything of me, it is something I can do in front of the T.V. and relax. And now...onto the next topic...
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| Me with Temple Grandin |
Last week, I went to the Autism conference here and Temple Grandin was speaking. I was SO excited because I got to meet her! What an amazing and inspirational person she is to the Autism community! She had a wealth of information on how to support kids with high functioning Autism like Franklin. One thing she suggested was to make sure our kids have jobs to do, whether it be helping walk a neighbor's dog, or picking up leaves outside. Anything that helps people outside the home. It's really important because it teaches our kids to be social and feel important. I started brainstorming things Franklin could do. He LOVES dogs, so I thought maybe he could help me make dog treats and we could take them over to the animal shelter. I also thought maybe we could set up a lemonade stand for him in our backyard and he could offer golfers a cold drink on a hot day. I know that Franklin loves helping, the key is making him feel like his help is really NEEDED and IMPORTANT. I really enjoyed hearing Dr. Grandin speak, I have to say, it was the highlight of my summer for sure! What was funny, is that she's so accomplished, and an adult, and yet, she still has those "Autistic" quirks. I kept saying, "FRANKLIN DOES THAT!" For example, throughout her entire speech, she kept saying, "I'm getting on a plane at 5. I'm stopping in Denver. Then I have a flight to Houston," over and over and over again at random points. Franklin does things like that. She also had no filter sometimes, saying exactly what she thought. At one point she didn't like the setup of the screens for her Powerpoint presentation and she said, "well this is stupid!" It was quite funny when she said what was on her mind, and it was genuine and authentic. She talked about letting our high functioning kids be eccentric, letting them be the "geeks and nerds" but also teaching them to be professional, to present themselves in a way that is respectful to the world. I think the most important message I took away from hearing Dr. Grandin was that we need to let our kids be who they are while also teaching them how to become functioning and productive members of society. There was one quote that stuck with me more than any of the others and that is when she said this, "There have been geeks and nerds throughout time. Which Caveman do you think made the first stone spear? It was some Asperger's type banging on a rock in the back of a cave." So true.
After all the progress we've made, and listening to Temple Grandin speak, I realized that I am really not comfortable with the current plan for Franklin for this next school year. To the point that I've been having panic attacks over it. At the advice of Dr. M I have requested an IEP review. I am VERY nervous to have this meeting. I am nervous to shake things up, but ultimately I need to do this for Franklin. Anyway, the meeting is on Monday morning, bright and early, so good thoughts would be appreciated!!
Happy End of Summer to all of you out there in Autism Land!
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